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NBCUniversal's Cookie Notice: As If We Had a Choice

Okay, let's dive into this NBCUniversal "Cookie Notice." Notice is in quotes because it's less of a notice and more of a digital shakedown. "Allow us to track every damn thing you do, or GTFO." I'm paraphrasing, offcourse.

They tell us they use "cookies and similar tracking technologies." Similar? What, like tiny little surveillance drones buzzing around our eyeballs? They might as well just admit they're selling our souls to the highest bidder. Oh wait, they are admitting it, just in corporate-speak.

The Illusion of Control

"You may be able to adjust your Cookie preferences at any time." The key word here is "may." It's like saying, "You may win the lottery." Sure, it's possible, but don't hold your breath. And even if you do adjust those "preferences," how much control do you really have? It's like choosing between getting stabbed in the arm or the leg – you're still getting stabbed.

And this bit about "strictly necessary cookies"? Give me a break. Everything is "strictly necessary" these days, isn't it? "Strictly necessary" to line their pockets with our data, that is. I bet if I tried to block them, half the site would break.

Third-Party Shenanigans

Then there's the whole "third-party cookies" thing. These aren't even their cookies, they're letting other companies plant them on our devices! "Certain third parties may place their Cookies on your device and use them to recognize your device when you visit the Services and when you visit other websites or online services." So, NBCUniversal is basically renting out space in our brains to advertisers. How generous of them.

But wait, it gets better. "These third parties collect and use this information pursuant to their own privacy policies." Oh, so now it's not even NBCUniversal's fault anymore! It's the third parties! They're just innocent bystanders in this whole data-harvesting operation. Yeah, right.

It's like blaming the drug dealer for your addiction. The pusher isn't responsible, you are! Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here.

Cookie Management: A Fool's Errand?

They offer a bunch of "Cookie Management" options, like browser controls and analytics provider opt-outs. But let's be real: who has the time to navigate all that crap? It's designed to be confusing and time-consuming, so most people just give up and click "Accept All." Which, of course, is exactly what they want.

And even if you do manage to opt out of everything, they still warn you that "some parts of the Services may not function properly." Translation: "We're going to punish you for trying to protect your privacy."

We're All Just Data Points Now